Suffering a traumatic event or witnessing trauma might change a person’s life forever. The sense of safety and hope, once so natural for you becomes a memory of the past.
A sense of fear and underlying suspiciousness is created and it is hard to function. Little things such as noises, smells, and images bring back a load of scary and confusing emotions.
All of a sudden intrusive memories take over your emotions and you feel hopeless to fight it. You feel like you’re undeniably broken and that you will never be whole again.
- Have you been a witness to violence?
- Have you been a victim of physical, emotional or sexual abuse?
- Have you been in a car or plane accident?
- Have you been bullied in school?
Trauma can exist at different levels. It affects adults, children, the elderly and people of all colors, beliefs, and cultures. It affects the poor and the well-off equally.
- Have you had a traumatic experience?
- Do you feel like memories of those events play as a non-stop record in your mind?
- Have you been having nightmares about any of it?
- Do you feel fearful, stressed out and uncomfortable in your own skin?
- Do you have a hard time trusting people? Do you get easily startled?
These symptoms might feel very overwhelming and bring you into a place of hopelessness. But it is not true! There is hope!
In spite of the harsh environment this little plant finds strength and grows: you too have the potential to overcome your challenges and grow happy and stronger than before.
– Mayra Bagnoli –
Most people will experience some kind of trauma in their lifetime whether it’s a car accident, abuse or neglect, the sudden death of a loved one, a violent criminal act, exposure to the violence of war, or a natural disaster.
Sometimes, a very small event can also traumatize you. For example being made fun by a teacher in elementary school or being criticized by your parents in front of others.
The way it will affect a person’s life is very individual. Some people are able to recover from trauma over time with the love and support of family and friends and bounce back with resiliency, others may suffer effects of lasting trauma, which can cause a person to live with deep emotional pain, fear, confusion, or stress for a long time after the event has passed.
Also frequently the trauma may have been constant as in child sexual abuse or a person might have had multiple trauma, as it happens sometimes.An example of it is when a child had parents who were dysfunctional and witnessed fighting, then experienced neglect, and finally had to go to foster care where she had suffered abuses of all kinds.
When the trauma is repetitive or multiple we have complex trauma which is even more debilitating.
What are the Symptoms of Trauma?
Some symptoms caused by a traumatic experience are:
- Fear and mistrust,
- Hyper-vigilance,
- Getting easily startled
- Having nightmares,
- Feeling detached from people,
- Feeling numb,
- Re-experiencing images and feelings as if the trauma was happening at the present time (flashbacks),
- Depression,
- Having difficulties expressing emotions and experiencing intimacy.
- It is not infrequent as well to resource to numbing behaviors such as over-eating, using drugs and alcohol and self-harming, which are used in an attempt to reduce and cope with anxiety and depression.
In these circumstances, the support, guidance, and assistance of a knowledgeable and caring therapist are fundamental to healing from trauma.
The Aftermath of Trauma
It happened, it was hurtful, it was scary. The world has changed forever.
- “I am alone.
- Was it my fault?
- Why did it happen to me?
- Nothing matters anymore. I better drink to forget…”
These thoughts are constantly in your mind. You go about your days almost as if you were dreaming; you go through the motions but your heart seems not to be in anything that you do. You feel alone, disconnected, unmotivated.
Then something happens and boom! “It is all happening in my mind again: the anguish, the fear, the nausea, the anger, the sadness. My body is on high alert. I can hear the smallest sound, I can see far away, I am tense. My heart is about to explode.”
All those feelings are burning again. Images from the past flowing fast and intense, “I feel the same sensations, I hear the same noises. It is gone, it is in the past… but Is it? I cannot trust anyone; I am not someone that people want to have around, I am broken, I will always be broken…”
You might be feeling like a ceramic bowl that fell on the floor and broke into a million pieces…
If the broken bowl could speak he would be saying things like “I am no longer a bowl. I cannot hold anything, if I am glued, I will be weak, I will be leaking from the cracks. I look ugly, I cannot even be a piece of decoration. I just hope that a good soul comes about and throws me in the garbage.”
Well, there is an art form in Japan called Kintsugi. It mends broken ceramic bowls with precious metal, gold or silver.
After the bowl is completed a new, stronger, functional and even more beautiful bowl is created. Because the bowl was broken it created metal scars that bring originality and beauty to it. And because it is mended with metal, it is even stronger than it was before.
“This is the meaning of resilience. Treating trauma is like practicing Kintsugi with people. The two of us work together helping you to mend the broken pieces and to find strength and value in yourself. And at the end of the process, you will still have your marks but you will feel stronger, happier and proud of your scars because they made you unique, beautiful and strong.”
– Mayra Bagnoli –
I know that it is hard to believe that you can be whole again. I know you have been struggling with this pain and nothing has helped but numbing it.
And I also know that it does not last, that the pain, anxiety, shame, depression, and hopelessness will try to get the best of you all over again.
I know that it might seem like wishful thinking, that it feels like change is impossible. But it is not! The first step towards healing is to adopt this mantra:
I AM NOT WHAT HAPPENED TO ME, I AM WHAT I CHOOSE TO BECOME
Anyone can get treatment for trauma; you do not have to live trapped in a damaging experience. There is treatment and it works!
Trauma Therapy
Research has proven psychotherapy to be the most effective form of treatment for trauma; among many treatments possible, I use EMDR, an evidence-based therapy method to treat trauma.
This treatment approach is defined as “Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR).
EMDR is a method of treatment involving 8 stages, developed to facilitate the resolution of trauma symptoms such as nightmares, dissociation, panic attacks, anxiety, among many others.
Simply explaining it, when an individual suffers trauma he/she is unable to process that event and its memory gets stored on the brain, in an area that is greatly involved with the emotional part of it.
After that, any kind of stimuli which triggers the memory of the event, such as a certain smell, a noise, a word, a touch, a taste, a song, provokes a spontaneous, impulsive, knee-jerk response as if this person was experiencing the traumatic situation again, in the present.
These responses create a lot of conflicts and distress for the person who suffered the trauma, as well as to the people who are engaged in relationships with this individual.
EMDR treatment accesses the stored memories and helps to dislodge it so that the brain could process it; once processed the information becomes a memory of the event and now there is no emotional charge.
Now, in spite of being a sad, stressful memory, this memory is not re-experienced again anytime that a trigger happens. The client usually describes a great deal of relief and their relationships and ability to function in their daily lives greatly improve.
If you or someone you know matches the trauma symptoms listed above, I am confident that I can help.
I invite you to contact me today to schedule a session at our earliest availability. You deserve to be happy and carefree again! And my mission is to help you to get there!
(561) 635-2431