At times life throws unexpected challenges at us; it feels like the tunnel you see in the picture above: dark, scary, and moving you into a direction that you cannot control, that you cannot change.
You are stuck in this railroad and life, like a train, is moving fast… At that moment, fear tends to take over. You start to imagine all of the terrible things that could happen…
Where will it stop? Will I be alone? How will I be able to get to know this new place? Who will help me when I get there? What if I am a failure? Will I survive it?
These are all very appropriate feelings. The unknown provokes anxiety and anxiety leads us to catastrophic feelings!
Here is the good news… Life changes are transitions, they do not last forever.
There is light at the end of the scary tunnel… And frequently you will learn amazing things that, after overcoming the uncomfortable moment, were in fact, a blessing in disguise.
Personal Changes:
You have just learned that you will be a parent… It was not in the plans… What now?!?!
You might have to stop school or maybe do it at a slower pace… How will your family take the news? Should you marry?
Will you be a good parent? Where will you live? What will your life look like in the future? The questions keep on multiplying and you feel really out of control…
But it does not have to be this way…
Imagine learning how to handle a pregnancy, how to care for an infant.
Picture you graduating from college and getting your dream job.
Imagine the connection you will feel with your partner seeing your child, the child that you created together, growing up!
Imagine the joy of getting to feel the hugs, hear the giggles and seeing your child calling you for the first time…
The world is so much more meaningful… Life is so exciting and colorful… Your child is helping you to see the world in a whole different manner. Life is good!
You have conquered this challenge and you are stronger to face so many more you might still have to handle…
Professional Changes:
That was a day like any other. You get to work and your boss calls you. You come there thinking you will be assigned a new task or maybe he is upset about some missing deadlines.
You step in and immediately realize that something is not right. Tension is in the air. In there you see your boss, his boss and a person who works in Human Resources. Yes… You are laid off!
They start explaining everything, the reasons why they have to let you go, seniority, the benefits you have: words float in the air, it is almost like you do not know their meaning: Severance pay, COBRA, accrued time off…
In your mind just confusion, in your chest fear and indignation: Why me? How will I provide for my family? How am I going to tell them?
Then the humiliation of having to grab your things and go home. No time to even say goodbye to co-workers you have been seeing for years. Management does not want to spread panic. You feel anger and indignation. You have served them well, have never done anything wrong, nonetheless now you leave like a criminal.
You sit in the car for a while, tears pouring down your eyes. So many feelings are clouding your mind.
You look at things that you did not pay attention to before: how the parking lot and building look, the traffic lights, you see people passing by, happy, innocent.
It hits you: these images will not be part of my life anymore. You feel hurt, inept, angry and confused.
Your self-esteem takes a big blow. How will you feel comfortable at a job interview? What if they ask why you were laid off? Will I get a job I like or will I have to change careers? Will I make enough money?
With your head spinning you prepare for the even worst moment, the moment you are dreading: telling the news to the people you love…
Let’s fast forward a few months later:
Imagine that you have the exact right words to get the dream job you always wanted but had not applied for because you had a job where you had “job security.”
Picture you making a great impression on the team who is interviewing you, feeling secure and confident to negotiate the salary of your dreams… And getting it!
Visualize the faces of your loved ones when you explain your new job to them and they feel your positive energy, your excitement!
And their surprise when you tell them about the trip you will take in the summer to celebrate your new lifestyle!!!
Changes Related to Catastrophes:
You lived in this old, charming house in the countryside. Finally, after a long career, you were able to retire and enjoy the calm, refreshing, nature-filled lifestyle… Waking up in the morning to go on long walks, caring for your animals, riding your horse while watching the sundown…
All was going so well up to the time when a little sparkle on bad wiring caused a fire. In a matter of minutes, your whole house is on fire; in a matter of hours, everything inside it is gone!
Your personal belongings, all your clothing, documents, and pictures. All of a sudden you are homeless.
A sense of disbelief hits you. “I need to wake up! This ought to be a nightmare! It cannot be real.”
Reality hits hard and you feel profoundly depressed. You start asking yourself what will you do now, how will you live with so many losses?
You start to feel tired, angry, and sad. You lose sleep thinking on how to rebuild the house, how to pay for it, how to replace all of those invaluable belongings that not only had financial value but even more, they were emotional treasures, they told your history, they were your memories…
It seems like you will never recover. It feels unbearable.
But things can always get better…
Imagine learning about resources that were available to you, that you did not know they existed, that helped you in this during this transition.
Picture someone helping you to see the silver lining, helping you to identify your strengths, assisting you to sort through different options so that you could make an informed and balanced decision.
Imagine feeling hope growing in your heart again and feeling confident on your ability to recover.
Visualize using the opportunity to build the house of your dreams. A house that will be tailored to your family’s needs.
I can easily see you realizing that you have learned to let go, to be flexible, to reflect on what is important to you and using all this growth to rebuild a life even more aligned with your values…
This is what therapy does for people in crisis, people going through hard transitions.
Things that initially felt helpless start to be accepted and resilience sets foot. You learn more about yourself, you take charge of your destiny and you transform the victim into a winner.
The crisis is now an opportunity and once this bridge is crossed so much learning takes place. You changed and you grew and life sometimes becomes even better than before!
If you are going to a hard transition, please let me help you. I will love to guide you towards resolution and peace.
You do not have to suffer any longer, call me now! Let’s tackle it together!
(561) 635-2431